“Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending”
When I was growing up I was told, “Don’t worry, it’s just school. You will be fine” I wish that was the truth. My parents also realized that’s not the truth. You would think that school will be a safe place for your child, and it should be. But kids “Now a day’s” act a lot different then when my parents went to school.
The “Thing” that changed me was bullying. Now look, I’m not saying when my parents went to school there wasn’t bullying, but I know for a Fact what they went through in school, was nothing like I did.
First: I want to admit right now this will be a “shortened” account of what happened, because this accounted for all of my seventh grade and some of eighth. These are the memories that have really stayed with me.
Second: I want to also admit that when i was younger I was not always the most angelic person, and I always felt like I knew what was “right and wrong”, and that I could change people. (Because I was 13/14 years old and I thought I already had the world figured out.)
So, this whole experience started on MSN instant messenger. For some reason I had all of the 6 or 9 girls in my school that I couldn’t stand, on my instant messenger account. I figured that I would Try to help “change” one of them at a time. (I was “trying” to help these girls because they were only a year older than me and they were having sex, doing drugs, and not caring about school. All things I knew to be wrong. “At the time” Remember I was 13/14 years old) So the first girl I messaged (we will call her Issi) Issi, Didn’t take my “advise” to change her life so well. This is the start of the worst year of my life.
Issi went to all of her friends saying that I was “down-grading” them, and that I was “disrespecting” them. I would start getting pushed into lockers and being called cruel, and hateful names every day, all day during school. Everyday when I would get home from school I would have emails saying that (excuse my language) I’m a “slut, whore, cunt, etc.”
After about a week of non-stop crying and be scared to go to school my mom made me print off these messages from all of the girls, and then we went into a meeting with the principle. Nothing happened and NOTHING changed.
A few weeks later I was at the ski hill and they all showed up. So, naturally I left and walked with my friends to one of our fiends apartment. Once we got there I saw a car burn rubber around the corner, and I knew it was them. I ran in side with my friend and we locked the door. His parents weren’t home at the time so we had no one to protect us.
I went in his room and started crying, begging him to not let them in, to not let them hurt me. Then the knocking of the door statred.
” Come on out i know your in there”
“Come on bitch get out here and get what you deserve”
“You dumb bitch we will kill you”
There were Nine girls ageing from 15-19 out side the door wanting to beat my ass.
I called my mom, and she called my neighbor who is a cop.
They left when he got there. They never got in trouble.
I switched schools and was never bullied again.
You might think i was weak, and running away from my problems, but I was 13/14 years old and I was scared!
School was where I loved to be before that. I love to learn.
Now this might not be a huge and “dramatic” thing to anyone else, but these memories, these moments changed me.
I have 3 best friend, one including my boyfriend. I am very self conscious, I cant look people in their eyes (unless i know them), and I hate talking to new people (in person).
This blog makes me feel inspired, makes me want to share my stories, and helps me talk to new people.
My writing is really starting to make me happy and feel good about me.