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All posts for the month June, 2014

Abilene Paradox

Published June 30, 2014 by imagine525

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Have any of you been part of an Abilene Paradox? Do any of you  know what an Abilene Paradox even is?

An Abilene Paradox is when a group of individuals agree to a course of action based on the theory it is best for the group, despite going against the preferences of members of the group. This occurs when individuals feel their objections are not strong enough to support changing the minds of others in their group. Commonly referred to as “rocking the boat”.

Here is the story I heard, that made me think, “Hey, this happens to me a lot!”

Picture a hot and humid Sunday on a July afternoon in the small town of Coleman, Texas. The temperature is 104 degrees – in the shade. A mother, father, their married daughter and son-in-law are sitting on the outdoor porch playing dominoes.

The father suddenly exclaims, “Why don’t we all get in the car and drive to Abilene and have dinner in the cafeteria there?” The son-kn-law thinks to himself, “Abilene? That’s 53 miles away in this dust and heat and the car air conditioner isn’t working as it should.”

But his wife, the daughter, chimes in,“That sounds like a great idea. How about you, dear?” she asks her husband. Since his preferences are obviously out of step with the others, he slowly responds, “Sounds OK to me, but does your mother want to go?” He is hoping she will say No. The mother-in-l.aw replies, “Why not, I haven’t been to Abilene in a long time.”

So they all pile into the old Buick and off they go to Abilene. It is brutally hot, the wind is blowing stifling hot air full of dust and the air conditioning is faulty. They arrive in Abilene after an hour and a half uncomfortable ride.

The cafeteria food is filling but nothing to write home about. Three hours and 106 hot miles later, the family is back in Coleman, sweating and exhausted.

 

The son-in-law says, sarcastically, “Great trip, wasn’t it?”

His mother-in-law replies, “To tell you the truth, I really didn’t enjoy it that much and would have liked to stay home. I just went along because the three of you were so enthusiastic about going. You all pressured me into it.”

The son-in-law couldn’t believe what he heard. “What do you mean, ‘you all?’ I didn’t want to go; I only went to satisfy the rest of you.”

His wife looked shocked. “Hey, I just went along to keep the rest of you happy. You three were the ones who wanted to go.”

Then her father entered the conversation. “Well, I never really wanted to go to Abilene. I just thought you all might want to go; that you were bored just playing dominoes here. I would have preferred to stay home and eat the leftovers in the icebox.” (outdated term for refrigerator).

They all sat back in silence. Here they were, four reasonably sensible, intelligent people, who of their own volition had just taken a 106-mile trip across a godforsaken desert in furnace-like heat and a dust storm to eat unpalatable food at a hole in the wall cafeteria in Abilene, and none of them had really wanted to go in the first place. In fact, they had done the opposite of what they really wanted to do.

 

So, have you ever encountered an Abilene Paradox?

We should just speak our minds!

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Life

Published June 4, 2014 by imagine525

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Life may be filled with problems, or difficulties and challenges, but you have the power of courage.

With it, you can tackle anything in life.

Believe in yourself and face life with a smile!

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Manipulation

Published June 3, 2014 by imagine525

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“What they do not realize- and what you must realize- is that manipulating others is something all people do. In fact, manipulation is at the core of our social interaction”.

Is this a true statement? I guess that would be determined by what type of a life you live.

At a psychological level, manipulation primarily involves two things: concealing aggressive intentions and behaviors and knowing the psychological vulnerabilities of your opponent well enough to know what tactics are likely to be the most effective weapons against them. Psychological manipulation is most often accomplished through covert-aggression or aggression that is so carefully veiled or so subtle that it’s not easily detected.

Manipulators want what they want and fight hard to attain their goals. But the tactics they use can make it appear like they’re doing almost anything but simply trying to get the better of you. The tactics are also very effective weapons of power and control. That’s because even though they’re hard to recognize as aggressive moves at a conscious level, at an unconscious level others feel backed into a corner and are thrown on the defensive. This makes it more likely that they’ll back down or give in to their manipulator.

Skilled manipulators know the vulnerabilities of their opponents. If vanity is someone’s weakness, a seduction tactic might be the best manipulation tactic. If over-conscientiousness is their weakness, perhaps guilt-tripping would be the most effective way to gain the upper hand. Most manipulators have a significant disturbance of character (i.e. have too little conscience or sensitivity). Their easiest prey are neurotic individuals (i.e. people with high levels of sensitivity and conscientiousness). Tactics like Playing the Victim, or Shaming will effectively manipulate the average neurotic because conscientious individuals neither want to see someone else as suffering, nor do they want to feel badly about themselves. If a neurotic person were to try these same tactics on a disturbed character, they would soon learn that they have no effect.

So, does anyone agree with the quote from above? I do, to a certain point. I don’t believe that it is at our core for social interactions. But, Its not even a possibility for me to count how many times I’ve been manipulated. I meet less and less people who doe nice things just to be nice, they always want something. I do know some great people who do, do things just to be nice, I just wish there were more out there.

Now, if any of you have read my stuff before, you know I like telling stories with pictures.

So, here are some of the best manipulation photos I found:

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