All my life I have been a people watcher. Not a creepy- look in your windows type of person. Countless shrinks and doctors have diagnosed me with many different things. Denationalization disorder- mostly. My mom drags me across the states to get medication and professional help- but I’m not crazy. Gazing at people with interest is not being a stalker- so I’m not crazy, my people watching has changed my life forever.

I was on my way to therapy riding in the elevator.  The doors opened a floor early and the most gorgeous looking boy I have ever seen stepped on. Kids my age aren’t interested in me.  I’m invisible to everyone.  I think that’s why I started watching people. Because I could jump up on a table and start singing the national anthem wearing nothing but a star-spangled banner draped around me and no one would even look twice. But, at this moment I was sure I was visible.  I watched him as he entered and he stared at me for a second to long. His hazel eyes were covered of a lock of dark messy hair. No one had ever looked at me like that before.

On the elevator I saw him again, and again, and again, every single Tuesday. I pretty sure when I saw him the first time it was love at first sight. Even though I’m quirky and strange- I’m still a girl. A girl who is wishing for a fairy tale ending- just like everyone else. And right there- the the dingy elevator- I knew I found my prince charming.

Soon I started living for Tuesdays. Tuesdays I would see him. I would watch him enter- and I would watch him leave- without ever saying a word. Every time I saw him All I could think was – Unattainable. 

Voosh- The doors slide open again. And like always it was my Tuesday ritual. It was the journey that made my heart fall down at my feet- a lame encounter with the love of my life. He stopped and looked at me again- his look making my crescent moon tattoo burn- and stated with plain casualness ” My name is Ryan. What’s yours?”

What!? What? I was paralyzed. My name, my name- what is it!?

Ryan looked at me whit a half smile on his face- “Your name- what is it?”



R.I.P. to my childhood


Is it possible to go back in time- To simpler times?

A place where everyone was happy-

And everyone had a life that was great?

Is that too much to ask for?

They say to never look back- just keep going forward.

But I cant even walk straight.

I really truly don’t want to start over-

I just want us all to be able to live like children again.


The ladder


Do you want to climb the ladder?

It will take years.

It involves hard work-

or maybe-

Just some pure luck.

But, once you fall-

It is almost impossible-

to even try to get back up.

You should have learned-

by now at least,

It is easier to fall down-

then it is to climb up.

Some people won’t even risk the climb-

There to scared to the big fall.

They will tell you-

It’s all about the risks you take!

When really-

It’s all about the money you make!



When we are born,

We are innocent simpletons
A life about living and death-

Virtue and vice.

We know-
Not a thing.

We cannot even speak sense.

Only babble; as if our ignorance to show.


As we start to grow-

The cerebella forms.
Learning starts-

The A, B, C’s

And the 1, 2, 3’s.
We reinvent the wheel-

Start again from Zero.

Squander our precious time with glee.


When we at last mature and in advancing years
at the frontiers of knowledge-

We come to know-
that we can never hope to learn about truth.

For our Vision’s weak-

Even in Florida it can snow.

Isn’t this pointless?

Shouldn’t there be a way-
To impart wisdom to a baby?

On the very first breath?
So that it can-

Standing on these intellectual steps-
Tell us!

All about the mysteries of life and death.

For this seems-

To be the only way to stop.
This cycle of life and death and life again.
These never ending circles of flatness-
Of imprecision and exactness-

Of all the pain and joy.

Gone are the days



Gone are the days

where small towns are safe.

Far away was once a land

where a stranger always gave a helping hand.

Left behind us is an earth

where it doesnt matter who brings home first.

Long ago there was a centery

where no where near enough was plenty.

Now are the days

where small towns have rape and murder.

Now we have a land

where if a stranger tries to give a helping hand,

they get a backhand.

Now in front of us is an earth

where the only thing that matters is bringing home the first.