“Being a good person doesn’t depend on your religion or status in your life, your race or skin color, political views or culture. It depends on how good you treat others.”
I am tired of being defined by the superficial characteristics that provide others comfort because they know which box to put me in.
I was born a certain way—and I have always believed sometimes contrary to those around me that the variety of skin shades is beautiful and something to celebrate.
The truth is, the topic of race, still makes a lot of people feel uncomfortable—they don’t want to talk about it, fearing that they may be seen as prejudiced.
But more importantly, most people don’t want to truly acknowledge their own thoughts and feelings regarding their skin color or that of others.
It makes people feel edgy, as if talking about race is wrong to do, yet discussing racial differences is the only way that we can understand one another and squash any lingering prejudice or false beliefs, once and for all.
Honestly, I haven’t ever given a lot of thought to my skin color, because I don’t see it as something that I’m proud of, but it’s also not necessarily something that I feel condemned by either.
It just is.
It seems there is and will always be a standard by which we are judged.
Do I act white?
Am I feminine enough?
Am I motherly enough?
Am I adulting well?
who I am is not defined by the color of my skin.
If I can be described by any color it’s in the flush of rosiness of my cheeks when I am excited or blushing and in the deep blues of my eyes, as they swim with desire when I am looking into the eyes of my lover.
These colors say something about who I am and what kind of heart I have.
The reality is, the depths of my soul can’t be defined by the fact my great grandparents came from Finland, Sweden, and Germany.
My soul is a collection of my dreams and the thoughts held within the private sanctions of my mind.
It’s in my desire to make the world a better place and to help as many individuals as I can.
I am unique because, regardless of skin color, there is no one else quite like me in this world.
And that is what not only truly defines who I am, but who we all are.
- I am not a color, and I am not a place
- we should accept our ethnicity despite social views
- History should not identify me
- I should not be distinguished because of my physical appearance
Well, I have been having my weekly doctors appointments now, and today my appointment happened to be at 8:30 a.m so I could still go into to work today for 2.
3.5 hours later
What do I get????
I get a bunch of test done that tell me, me and the baby are both ok, and I am showing no signs of going into labor any time soon—–just what I want to hear.
the best news yet has to be that I can no longer work until my maturity time with the baby is up.
I was, and still am, feeling just fine- other then being overly tired, and my feet looking like they are pregnant to——but I felt no need to be taken off of work.
So, there I am crying at the damn hospital—-why??? Just because I cant work.
It has not even been a full day yet and I am bored out of my damn mind.
Now, my money situation is alllll F***ed up, and I feel bad not saying good bye to my residents…….Who knows who will be there when I go back–if I even go back to that place of employment.
Everything seems to be up in the air.
I am telling my self to take it day by day, but man that is hard.
The only thing that is certain is that by due date is in 12 more days…..and as soon as I hit 40 weeks I will be begging to be induced……..
This might be the last essay I share from my sexuality project, I’m still debating.
But, Here is the Third piece now. Homosexuality
Homosexuality is when an individual is attracted to someone of the same sex. In this category you may hear terms such as gay, homosexual, lesbian, dyke, butch, and femme (Shaw & Lee 2007 pg. 314). It is represented in the media in very positive and negative ways. Representation in the last few years has become more positive with T.V. shows like Grey’s Anatomy, and Orange is The New Black. In the last few years, homosexuality is a topic highly discussed in music.
Hozier is an Irish musician and song writer. He has become popular since the release of his song Take Me to Church. Jim Farber, for the New York Times, states that this song sold more than 500 thousand copies, streamed more than 1.3 million times per week, and the music video has reached over 11.5 million views on YouTube. The big message of the song is comparing a lover to religion. He seems to be mainly criticizing the Christian religion and their views of sexuality. The video depicts a gay male couple kissing, and then being attacked by a group of people. The song never specifically refers to gay rights, but the words in the song present sexuality as the path to morality. (i.e. “We were born sick you heard them say it. My church offers no absolutes, she tells me worship in the bed room…..I was born sick, but I love it”) Farber states a quote from the artist who was born Catholic stating “The church undermines a very natural part of being a human. It teaches shame about sexuality, regardless of orientation.”
Macklemore released Same Love, a hip hop song, in 2012 that is specifically for gay rights and against homophobia. Jesse Matheson states that Macklemore’s uncle is gay, but the purpose of the song was not fueled by the issue of marriage equality, but instead, how the term ‘gay’ is used derogatorily around the world and in the hip-hop community. (i.e. “bunch or stereotypes all in my head…a preconceived idea of what it all meant for those that liked the same sex. Had the conservatives think it’s a decision and you can be cured with some treatment and religion”). Matheson states that Macklemore hopes this song, and songs like it make people take a hard look at the type of language they are using. Same Love marks the first time that someone has positively rapped about homosexuality in hip-hop. The song features Mary Lambert, who is a lesbian, and in part of her lyrics (i.e. “Love is patient, love is kind”) she is quoting from the bible.
This song created controversy not necessarily by the media, but by the fans; all you have to do is look at the comments on the music video on YouTube (same with Take Me to Church). A performing arts teacher was actually suspended without pay for allowing one of her students to play the song in class. The principle was unhappy with the pro-gay and anti-church message.
Both of these songs have the same underlying meaning in them- homosexuality does not mean you are sick, nothing is wrong with you. These songs are challenging society’s scripts for sexuality; both including religion as the main reason for society having “issues” with homosexuality.
Hozier. (2014). Take Me To Church. Retrieved from http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/hozier/takemetochurch.html
Macklemore ft. Mary Lambert. (2012). Same Love. Retrieved from http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/macklemore/samelove.html
Susan M. Shaw, Janet Lee (2007). Women’s Voices Feminist Visions: Classic and Contemporary Readings. New York: McGraw-Hill Education.
Jim Farber. (2014, October 3rd). Hozier, preaching sensuality and gay rights, hits the big time with ‘Take Me to Church’. The New York Times. Retrieved from
Jesse Matheson. (2013, January 23rd). Macklemore: Why I wrote same Love. Retrieved from http://www.samesame.com.au/features/9365/Macklemore-Why-I-wrote-Same-Love
Now, I have had many boyfriends (well not that many) but none of them matter besides the one I with now. (I also really hate my ex’s). The first time we started dating was my freshman year of high school. We met on myspace (great place), and our first date was out to the movies to see yes man. Now, we only lasted a few months, but they were great. He graduate from high school and moved back home, and I thought I would never see him again. (I was pretty heartbroken). Then my sophomore year came around and one of my long lost best friends had moved home from Finland. And come to find out, the guy I met freshman year was living at her house for hockey. About after a month or so of me being at her house all the time, me and the perfect boy got back together. And we have now been together for five years.
“He’s not perfect, but neither am I. We will never be perfect. But if he can make me laugh at least once, and causes me think twice, and if he admits to being human and making mistakes, hold on to him and give him the most that you can. Hes not going to quote poetry, and hes not going to be thinking about me all the time, but he will give me a part of him that he knows could break. I wont hurt him, I wont change him, and I wont expect more than he can give. I shouldn’t analyze. I need to smile when he makes me happy, yell when he makes me angry, and miss him when he isn’t here. Love is hard when there is love to be had, because perfect people do not exists, but there is a perfect guy out there for me, and I have found him”
My first apartment. I am lucky enough to be spending this first with the love of my life. Is it perfect? No. It is a little one bed room apartment next to my college, close to his work, and it isn’t great, but then again it is, because I’m wouldn’t want to being starting this “first” of my life with anyone else. The walls are all white ( and we are not allowed to paint them) but he has bought be really nice pictures to hang on them. We eat dinner in the living room, because our kitchen isn’t big enough to have a dinning room table. There are things that need to be fixed, and out neighbors suck. But hey, when the lease is up, we will move.
My first car. Almost two years ago my grandfather passed away. After he passed away, we learned that since the day me and my brother were born, he put money way for us. With my money I went out and bought my very first car. (Thank you grandpa). So, I was 17 years old and I really wanted to car to finally call my own (so, you know I could stop driving around my moms mini-van). So, you ask, What did you buy? Well, it was a very, very, very dumb choice, but I bought a 2001 Limited edition Pt cruiser. That car was reliable in away.I was never stranded, I only got stuck two times. (When the snow was half way up my door and the plow trucks weren’t going, and when my parking spot froze over). But, it was an extremely shitty car. It was in the shop every month getting something fixed. I’m lucky I have a mechanic who lets me keep a tab. Now the car is gone, and I have a much better one (Even though I just found out today something needs to be fixed), but what can you do. Cars break, and they break fast when you live in an extremely cold, snowy place, where the roads are always covered in salt…..
And then, my last “first” that I find memorable (up until this point) is:
My first dog. He is a miniature poodle where we kept the family tradition and named him after alcohol. I was just about to enter middle school and me and my brother were finally able to convince my parents that we NEEDED a dog. We found a place that had just had three puppies and we were going there the next day to pick one out. When we got there, I ran right inside to the puppies. There was one dark brown who was big, a middle one who was white, and a small one who was tan. And I was the one who got to pick out the dog, and I picked the small tan one. He is now nine years old, he has his issues, but I mean who doesn’t. He has become my best friend and I will be very lost when he passes.
Now, my question to the readers. What are some of your memorable “firsts”?
Tell me something:
Do you feel mature? Has your mind and body finally caught up with one another? Do you still feel older than everyone else around you?
Tell me something:
Have you found yourself yet? Do you know who you are, what you want, what you want to do? Are you working 9-5?
Tell me something:
Are you married yet? Have you had kids yet? Your happily in love right now.
Tell me something:
Do you remember what you were like? Have you cherished every trial, every battle? Have you remember the best times of your life?
Tell me something:
Are you still alive, are you dead, or are you numb? Have you lived out your dreams, or are you living off of empty ones?
Tell me something:
Do I want this future? Am I going to be happy?
In all honesty I don’t want an easy life. I want to work for what I want and need. I just want to know, Am I Happy?
You know when your around a friend who is crying, and you get upset? Or, negative nancies who just always complain, and it makes you want to bitch then to??
Well, there is a new study posted in the journal PLOS One, that says these feelings can even be spread on Facebook.
“Researchers wanted to see what happened when an independent, emotion-triggering variable popped up in the world, so they tracked negative and positive emotions expressed in Facebook statuses in cities where it was raining. No huge surprise, but they found that when someone posted a whiny weather status, it actually led to additional negative statuses among their social network, even when their buds lived in cities where it wasn’t raining.”
I know when my Facebook is full of weather whining statuses it makes me feel a little down, especially because I have been in winter for like four months, with freezing temperatures for months on end; it gets depressing. I’m ready for our like three months of summer.
“But here’s the really cool, and kind of warm-fuzzy, thing — as contagious as negativity was online,positivity was even more contagious. That’s right: every time someone posted something happy, it caused a higher number of happy posts than the number of sad posts stemming from other sad posts. (No word on what kind of happy stuff those crazy kids were posting about the rain. “Love my Hunter boots,” maybe?)”
This I find true too, because when we do have our three months of summer Facebook is normally a happy place, you know unless your sick.
I feel this is useful information. I don’t always like to go all #firstworldproblmes, yes I know there are a lot of problems (my sociology classes point this out very well), and yes I think these problems need to be fixed, but this study just goes to show, again, the power of words. The power of influence.
“Each of us should realize our ‘network power’ when we are deciding what to do since we potentially influence dozens of other people,” Fowler says. “I personally believe that if you tell someone they don’t influence anyone, they won’t take nearly as much responsibility for their own actions as they do when you tell them they influence many other people.”